crying for a family i've never met....

tonight, sweet maddie is dancing. she is smiling and laughing and talking. she is skipping and running... straight into the arms of Jesus. maddie died this morning. the last 6 months have been such a time of ups and downs for little maddie's health. as i have written before, i cannot even imagine what all of this has been like for her family. that is a really cheesy understatement. i am sitting on my couch, unable to stop crying for this family that i have never met... a total stranger to them, i am struggling to wrap my heart and my mind around the truth that their little girl is with Jesus. i want to rejoice for maddie. i want to praise the Lord that she is no longer bloated with 6.5 liters of extra fluid in her poor, worn out body. but my "mommy's heart" weeps as i look back at pictures on maddie's website... pictures of her being silly with her brother & sister, pictures of her 2nd birthday. i can only imagine how many pictures her mommy is replaying in her mind tonight.

here is the email that we received today (emphasis mine)...

We are crushed today. Last night Madeline's pupils failed to react to light, so an emergency CT scan was ordered. The image revealed that Maddie's precious little brain had hemorrhaged and was severely swollen. We were hoping and praying for good news, but the opposite came. Maddie was pronounced brain dead last night just past midnight. We said goodbye and took her off of all life support and she died peacefully in our arms at 10:15 this morning. We are stunned and speechless. Our hearts are broken, and we are so very sorry to have to announce this news to all of you faithful and beautiful people. Today the King of Kings welcomed our princess home. The worst day of our lives was the best day of hers.

We are on the way home right now to let Anna & Sam down. They love their baby sister more than words can express, so this will be a hard one. Please pray for peace for our family in the weeks ahead. Leaving the hospital today was like leaving our best friends. Every day for six months, the staff was our family, and then in one day it was all gone. There is joy somewhere in all of this, but I cannot see it yet. I am praying for that clarity.

i realize that this is not about me. it's not really even about maddie & her family. it's about giving God the glory at all times, even when we do not fully understand. but every update from maddie's family has caused me to realize how silly my worries are and how weak my faith can be. as this little girl has been fighting for her life, i have been concerned that caroline doesn't have shoes to match a certain outfit. as maddie's parents packed up all her stuffed animals today, i complained that i didn't have enough time to get any laundry done. as maddie's parents drove home today to tell their other two children that their sister was now in Heaven, i got aggravated with my children as i tried to carry on a phone conversation. wow. Lord, forgive me. i do not thank God enough for the precious gifts of ethan and caroline. i take their health and their thus far uneventful lives for granted. i see now that i take a lot for granted. we don't want to think about things like this, but either of them could die as easily as maddie died this morning. we do not know God's plan for their lives. they are truly not OURS, but a precious gift from the Lord. i must remember that. maddie's mom and dad are living that now.

i urge you to pray for maddie's family. their hope is in the Lord, praise God for such hope. they have asked for prayers for peace and clarity, so please join me in prayers to that end for them. i will do my best to share further updates that i receive from their family.

go hug your children, praise God for each one of them, and remember to pray for maddie's family.