this busy season

no, i'm not talking about the thanksgiving and christmas season that will be soon upon us... i'm talking about this busy season for our family. it's actually for 3 seasons. a school year. i feel incredibly blessed, tired, and torn as i think about what's going on in our family right now. since august, i have been working at a middle school two mornings a week, providing speech therapy services to 13 students. how this all came about was no doubt the work of God because i would have never thought of this myself. so here's a little background without just spreading out the budget for you to see. :)

brian and i were both blessed to attend wonderful christian universities, and while our parents provided as much financial help as they could, we both ended up with a somewhat significant amount of school loan debt. for reasons still beyond my comprehension, we are unable to consolidate all of our loans into one loan, so for the last 3 years, we have made THREE student loan payments each month. yikes! now with that hefty student loan (and free graduate school, thank you Lord!! and mom, who paid my rent!), i was thankfully able to end up with a very useful degree in speech-language pathology. since ethan was a baby, i have worked a couple of days a month testing pre-school children while one of the grandmas had spoiling-duty. this paid more than brian getting a job on the side, so it was the smartest way for our family to make some extra money. this extra money each month helped to pay off the first loan (praise the Lord!) and to make our monthly payments, but on paper, we could see that it would be a long while till we were free from this debt.

when i returned from my whirlwind trip in july, this opportunity to work part-time was presented and i immediately dismissed it. there was no way that i could work 10 hours a week. i did not want to be away from home that much, and i knew i could not ask one of the grandmas to commit to watching the kids that much each week (though i know they would love it if they had the time!). but i will say that the hourly rate that was offered was a good one. i thought about it some more and did some calculations, and i realized that we could pay off the second student loan in 6 months if i took this job. SIX MONTHS vs. closer to 2 years! ok, so then i started praying, "is this from you, God? or am i being greedy?" everything within me wants to be home with my kids, but oh Lord! to have this loan paid off! so quickly! so i prayed that God would shut this door smack in my face if this was not from Him... well, He flung the doors right open, including working out a flexible schedule for brian at work so that he can be home with the kids while i'm at school. brian and i stepped out on faith that God was providing this opportunity to pay down our debt so that we would have more to give to Him and to others in need. and on our anniversary, august 28, i left the house at 6:45 in the morning. now that was definitely stepping out on faith!

i am home by 11:15 on the mornings that i work at the school, so it is nice to have the early afternoon with the kids before naptime. on the other days, i try to balance my housekeeping with mothering, though i discovered this week that going into monday with a clean kitchen floor and laundry done sure does this girl some good! i am still testing pre-schoolers a day or two a month, which can really make things hairy schedule-wise, but i knew this school arrangement would not be a permanent thing, and i also did not want to sever my previous commitment. SO on some weeks, i am gone 3 mornings a week. whew!

some of you might be reading this, thinking, "so what's the big deal?" and others of you are probably thinking, "she's nuts!" well, some days i do feel nuts, but i am reminded of something that my sweet friend heather told me as i was anticipating my first week at school. she told me that once i've prayed about something and made a decision, don't keep questioning my decision. go on faith that God will use this decision for my good and His glory. that was huge encouragement to me! so yes, things are pretty busy around here. some weeks have honestly been pretty stressful, but a lot of that was due to lack of planning and efficiency on my part during my free time (um, can you say ebay?). i am learning various little ways to simplify my life and to be more disciplined with my time at home since there is less of it these days. my heart is definitely at home, and being away at least 2 mornings every week makes me see how important it is for me to be at home with my children.

i was telling another friend that i worry about looking back in may and thinking, "gosh, caroline is so grown up and i missed it!" and she replied with, "emily, it's just 8 hours a week." so for the last few weeks, i've been asking myself why this is so hard if it is just 8 hours a week... and the other day i think i figured it out.... it's not the time, though i do miss being home. it's not the actual work at the school-- the students that i work with are great, and the teachers and staff are incredibly supportive. the challenge for me is that my mind is divided one more time. does that make any sense? my heart's desire is to be at home, taking care of my family. i will admit that i have never been a great housekeeper, even with 5 weekdays to get it done. 2 years ago, i threw in a little pre-school-evaluation-thinking into my head, and i adapted to that. i really can say that i don't think ethan or our family as a whole suffered as a result of my testing on those days. but now throw in IEPs that need to be written, planning for therapy the next week, thinking about parents that i need to call, all on top of the reports for my pre-school testing that need to be written, and i haven't even mentioned the needs of my children, husband, friends, other family, or this house!! or my quiet time and Bible study!! oh wow, just seeing that all written down is overwhelming!

so with this divided mind of mine these days, i am sure that things are falling through the cracks. i am sure i am forgetting more and sleeping less. but i know my God is with me, even through these busy days. He has ordained these days, and He is bestowing upon my family His wonderful provision. i must remember that every single day. God is with me. my mind may be divided between school and home and evaluations, but i must make sure that i am worshipping God with a single mind and a single heart that cries, "Father, may You have the glory in all things!" 1 Cor. 10:31- "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

so if my posts are few and far between, it's because i am striving to enjoy every possible second with my two babies right now. there's not as much time for pictures, and even less time for loading them and editing them and writing about them... but you can be sure that we are still playing ball and reading and dancing to the radio and counting "stars-es" and "peoples-es". we're headed to the pumpkin patch this weekend, and we are most definitely going to mrs. tammy's garage sale to buy cookies and lemonade from natalie. and maybe i'll eventually post pictures...

one happy mama & one happy maddie!

i am so thankful to give this praise report about sweet maddie!!! for the last week, she has been doing so well! praise the Lord!!! thank you for your prayers... last thursday, maddie was extubated, which means she was taken off the ventilator and got back to breathing on her own. this is HUGE! from there, it just got better. she is now going on wagon rides around the hospital grounds and is back to more of her normal self. i'd say that's quite a difference from being hooked up to so many machines! i know her parents are enjoying every minute of this week! if you go to her website, the updates for her huge improvement begin on oct 11. (click the left arrow, & scroll down) her parents are such a humble witness for the glory of God. i do hope you'll read her updates soon. praise God for His healing, and i urge you to pray for continued healing for little maddie.

yes, i will talk about my own kids soon!

glory babies

i have three precious friends that i have been praying for as a group for awhile now. all three were excited to find that they were pregnant with their first child only to go through a miscarriage shortly afterwards. (i will not try to even begin to relate to their experiences, though i have walked alongside both my sister-in-law and her sister as God used their miscarriages to teach them innumerable things about His sovereignty and goodness.) my three sweet friends all acknowledged God's hand over their lives, but at the same time, the mommy's heart in each of them still longed for a child. christy and catherine's miscarriages happened shortly before caroline's birth last fall, and as i sat nursing caroline in the middle of the night, i prayed for my friends. as i changed yet another diaper, i prayed for my friends. i did not just pray that God would give them a child, but i prayed that God would give them peace...that my friends would rest in the fact that the reality of having a baby was not up to them, but that such a gift was in the hands of our God Almighty. so i prayed. i prayed and i prayed. and then in february of this year, ashley shared that she too had just had a miscarriage. so i cried with her and encouraged her the best i could, and i committed to pray for her too.

in april, 6 months after her miscarriage, christy announced her healthy, 14 week pregnancy. oh, praise the Lord! and now here we are in october, and she is due anyday with sweet sadie faith. christy was just telling me yesterday in an email about how sadie's middle name "faith" is more than just a name and that she looks forward to sharing this story of God's faithfulness with her daughter. what a blessing it was to see cute pregnant christy earlier this summer... it was almost as if my thomas eyes needed to just touch that belly of hers! as i was looking back in old emails last night to get some dates straight, it hit me that the date on christy's email telling us about her miscarriage was october 11, 2006. that was one year ago today. this time last year, christy was listening to this sweet song. this time last year, christy was clinging to the peace and constancy of our Father, knowing that His timing is always right. though she was uncertain about what the next weeks, months, and even years would hold for her family, she could rest in the certainty of the promises of God. fast forward one year, and christy is 40 weeks pregnant, wondering when sadie will make her entrance into the world. and again, christy is reminding herself that God's timing is always right! we can't wait for the news of sadie's birth!

catherine announced her pregnancy a couple of months ago, and ashley's good news came a few weeks later... i know my jaw hit the floor when catherine said, "well, we have some exciting news", and though her husband tried to throw me off, i KNEW what she was about to say!!! she would have been in trouble if her "exciting news" would have been a new car or something! when i received ashley's email that strongly hinted toward her pregnancy, i ran straight out into the backyard and yelled the good news to my mom, who was playing with the kids. (i think i yelled, "guess who's pregnant!" but i quickly followed it up with "ashley!" so that my mom didn't have to wonder if i'd just taken a pregnancy test-ha!) catherine is due at the end of february, and ashley is due april 1. i look forward to sharing in the joys and excitement of their pregnancies, knowing that these women are in absolute awe and wonder of the miracles of God that are growing inside of them (separate miracles, one in each. not twins. just clearing that up!). and since catherine lives just minutes away from me, i will love seeing her baby often and sharing the everyday blessings and challenges of motherhood with her. catherine actually finds out the gender of her baby tomorrow, so i will be waiting for that news!! i was telling her tonite about how exciting it is to see your baby during the sonogram... to see the heart beating and to feel a kick while you watch YOUR BABY moving on the screen! what a miracle of God. i remember telling someone when i was pregnant with ethan that i honestly do not understand how a woman can carry a child and not believe in God. it is humbling and mindboggling and altogether wonderful to think about this child growing within you. it cannot be chance. it cannot be evolution. it is God.

i was able to visit with ashley in april, a couple of months after her miscarriage. this was her first time to meet caroline. she has always expressed so much love and excitement toward my children, and this time was no different. i was not surprised to see that ashley was strong as she held my baby girl, she was so genuinely happy for me. but i could also see the mother's heart in her... her desire to hold her own baby. when kristie went through her miscarriage, she shared with me that God had given her a mother's heart, even if but for this one short time... and as i watched ashley adore ethan and caroline that weekend, i saw her mother's heart. this summer in savannah, again, as my friends doted over my children, and as we all doted over christy and her belly, ashley rejoiced with us in our blessings. and now, i am so thankful to rejoice with ashley in her precious blessing!

i am in tears as i write about my dear friends. as i stated earlier, i will not pretend to relate to their experiences with miscarriages, but i can surely share in their praise to our God for His goodness in their lives. these babies will grow up hearing about the presence of God in their lives. these babies will grow up knowing their daddy & mommy's story of walking by faith. these babies will bring glory to God with their little bitty newborn lives. and i can't wait to kiss their fat cheeks.

praise God from whom all blessings flow.

(don't my friends look like naturals holding my babies? from the top: christy with ethan, july 2006; catherine with caroline, january 2007; ashley with caroline, april 2007)

the mops i actually like!

another year of mops has begun, and i am more excited than ever about this year! no, i'm not talking about MOPPING, which is probably my most hated household chore... i'm talking about MOPS, which stands for Mothers Of PreschoolerS! this group of moms has been such a blessing to me for the past 2 years. we meet twice a month at a local church, and we are encouraged by christian speakers, helpful ideas for moms, wonderful fellowship, and a delicious brunch! we also do several fun crafts throughout the year, so there is never a dull moment! childcare is provided, so we can enjoy our morning knowing our little ones are well taken care of. my mops group is divided into tables of about 8 ladies each, and this year i am blessed to be a table leader. each table also has a "mentor mom", a mother of older children who is there to encourage us in this early stage of our mothering.

each year, mops international chooses a theme, and this year it is based on "home". each of our tables are represented by different types of houses-- my table is the "fabulous farm house". for our first meeting, each table decorated a plain cardboard house-- it was so much fun!! we painted it red and put a truck and chickens out front. we made curtains and a pond... and i even made my dream board & batten shutters! :) i'll have to take some pictures to share. anyway, each meeting's theme is based on a different room of the house, all under the theme "living fully from the place you call home". next week's theme is the den, "a soft place to fall". i'm curious about this one! then the next meeting is based on the kitchen, so you know i won't miss that one!

i have met several wonderful friends through this organization who i've shared pregnancies with, maternity clothes, and plenty of laughter and tears. there are some truly God-fearing women that have encouraged me along the way these last 2 years! so i am definitely looking forward to getting to know the ladies at my table this year. it's a great group. if you are looking for some encouragement as you mother your children, click here to find out if there's a mops group in your area. you'll be so glad you did.

having a ball!

my friend, abbie, just moved away with her husband and two girls, and in the process of packing, she came across an inflatable barn that holds all those balls that we all know and love from our childhood... you know, the ones from chuck-e-cheese?? so she passed on this once-loved piece of entertainment to our children, and as soon as ethan saw what was in the box, he was good to go for the afternoon! it was BALLS! a WHOLE BOX! and let me tell you, it was one of those afternoons where i just needed him to be happy doing SOMETHING! after abbie left, ethan sat in the balls for at least an hour. and then he decided to empty the box, one ball at a time. i came back in the room during this process and just laughed at the sight of my ball-filled foyer. thankfully, he also thought filling the box back up was just as entertaining as emptying it!



as you can see, my children were very excited about this gift, even before they were aware of the barn! i did inflate the barn this week at kristie's house, but i haven't uploaded those pictures yet... so i'll have to share those another time. it's so cute... it has an inflatable chicken and horse that are just hilarious. thanks, abbie! it's a hit!

sweet caroline

these days, caroline doesn't really stay still long enough to take many pictures... but during our nice morning at the park, i finally found such a moment. it was just about naptime, and my little girl sure was enjoying the back-and-forth soothe of the playground swing! don't you want to just eat her fat little fingers?