top 40 jack bauer facts
thanks, amy, for telling me about the top 40 jack bauer facts! i stole this from amy's friend's website, who stole this from his friend's myspace page... so that explains all the capital letters. you then KNOW it did not originate from me!! but it's a peaceful sunday afternoon, and i really want a nap. so i'm leaving the capital letters in. you'd better like this...and that's a command from jack.
40) During the 18 months Jack Bauer was believed dead, CTU saved over $1 billion on ammunition.
39) If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
38) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
37) Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
36) Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were stuck in a room together once... After 3 minutes, Chuck Norris left crying without a scratch on him.
35) Jack Bauer helped U2 find what they were looking for
34) On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.
33) Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
32) It's no use crying over spilt milk...unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
31) When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
30) When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
29) Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
28) If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
27) Taco Bell used to close at midnight, until Jack Bauer decided he wanted to have burritos at 2 am.
26) Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
25) If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.
24) Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.
23) Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
22) Jack Bauer's calendar goes from April 2nd to March 31st – no one fools Jack Bauer.
21) Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
20) If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
19) When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
18) Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait…that is a real fact.
17) Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
16) Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
15) Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
14) Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
13) If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
12) When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
11) When Jack Bauer asks for your help, he's not asking.
10) There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.
9) Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
8) Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people because he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people because he ran out of people.
7) After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.
6) 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
5) Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
4) When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
3) Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.
2) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
1) Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
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