dear first house,
thank you for the last seven years. we sure did cram a lot of firsts, a lot of memories, and a whole lot of stuff into your 1170 square feet. i moved in as an engaged girl... you were such a quiet house when it was just me! a couple of months later, brian and i got married, and he moved all his stuff into your garage. (a joke between me and brian-- he always said i made him put everything out there!) and less than 5 years later, we'd brought three sweet babies home through your front door.
amelia coming home from the hospital- january 2009
your quiet days were history! the pitter patter of little feet turned into the stampede of toddlers racing down the hallway or zooming matchbox cars from the living room into the kitchen.
your days with us were full of joyful noises.... laughter as ethan and caroline were tickled silly by daddy.... music as the children danced day after day in the living room... clanging of pots and pans as they all cooked up lots of meals and mischief in their play kitchen... and squeals as daddy would walk in the door each evening.
when we bought you, you were covered with white walls and old brown shag carpet. your front yard boasted two big beautiful oak trees and immaculate green grass.
june 2004
we painted your walls, replaced your floors, and killed your grass. but your trees were still beautiful! in the last seven years, those freshly painted walls have been written on and banged into.... that new carpet has been peed on, pooped on, and thrown up on... and those nice wood floors have taken the punishment of die cast airplane wings over and over and over. just a few days before closing, your living room wall met with a wooden cupcake, and the result was a nice chunk of wall on the floor. you were definitely lived in.
on any given day in your living room
i really imagined that we would stay with you forever... perhaps closing in the garage and adding on. but those little feet that once pitter-pattered down the hallway were now on the pedals of a bike. and you, our dear sweet first house, just have too many cars zooming past you every hour. our children had been content to play and ride in your driveway, but they will soon be old enough to venture out... riding down the street on their own, knowing how far they can go and what will happen to them if they go any further. we loved you, little house on the busy street... but i want my kids to venture out. and your street just wouldn't let them.
so we decided to get you ready to sell. let me rephrase that... i decided that we needed to sell you. i am a microwave. i pop an idea in... hit express cook... and a minute later-- you've got dinner. brian is a crockpot. you put a nice idea in there on low, and it cooks s-l-o-w-l-y. you may get a tender, juicy roast in the end, but you've gotta wait for it. (meanwhile, i'm snacking on my rubbery-microwave-cooked chicken nuggets.) so it was november 1, and i up and declared that we needed to move to a quieter neighborhood. (and i won't lie.... i wanted a little more square footage.) i was ready to rock-n-roll by the end of the week, and my dear mr. crockpot just needed to sit on low. for a couple of months. never mind there was the matter of caroline's birthday, homeschooling, thanksgiving, disney, christmas, the throw-ups, amelia's birthday and um, life. that is all beside the point. oh, yes, and then there was the list.
we were not finished making you our house, you see. the kitchen was smack in the middle of its update, and there was a long list of "should-do's" that quickly turned into "must-do's". we hadn't made time in seven years to finish these projects.... how would we get them done in time to list our house before the microwave exploded?! with the help of our friend david (or "misty", as caroline affectionately and randomly named him!), that's how. he tackled all of our projects, and before we knew it, our list looked like this
and my kitchen cabinets finally looked like this.
the best part is that david let us pay him in coffee and chick-fil-a! (just kidding!) :) seriously though.... david does great work if you need anything done at your house! i can hook you up!!
by mid-february, our realtor was calling weekly to see if we were ready to list yet. no, i said. but we're almost there. while misty was painting and fixing and drilling (all the while letting ethan help him and playing audience to the girls' latest performances), we were cleaning out and tidying up. closets got emptier, windows got cleaner. blinds got dusted (there's a first time for everything.). and this is when i started saying good-bye to you. i could take many things with me... the baby books, the blankets, the little clothes. but i could not take this with me....
can you tell what this is? it's a pair of grubby, dirty footprints on the wall in ethan and caroline's bedroom. i found it the day that we moved ethan's crib out of his room... and i couldn't bear to clean it off. it stayed there for the last 4 years, and i just about couldn't clean it off the wall a couple of months ago. but i got it together, snapped a picture, and off came the footprint. that was my first and hardest good-bye to you, dear house.
we finally put you up for sale on march 13. we didn't know how long it would take for someone to fall in love with you like we did.... i waffled back and forth between, "this house is adorable! it will sell in no time!" and "the market is horrible! it won't sell...ever!" but at the end of the day, we trusted in God's perfect timing, and we knew that if we were meant to move on from you, that God would bring us a buyer. once our house was on the market, i was so busy making sure everything was in tip-top shape every time we left the house that there was really very little time for me to feel sad about selling you. you probably really enjoyed that time on the market. you shined and you smelled good! there were no dirty clothes lying about, no toys strewn all over the place. the dishes were either in the dishwasher or the cabinets. and the kitchen floor was the cleanest it had ever been. i'll tell you a little secret, house.... i hated the stress of keeping everything picture perfect, but i loved coming home to you looking so good. :)
by the grace of God, we had an offer in 9 short days. it would take 5 more days to come to an agreement on the selling price, but suddenly, selling you was a reality, little house! i wanted to relish the last month with you, sweet first house. i wanted to spend evenings with my husband on the gazebo swing where he proposed. i wanted to take one more video of the kids singing and dancing. i wanted to have our precious neighbor, mrs. bonnie, over for dinner. i wanted to sit in each room, telling the kids stories of when they were babies and things they did in that very spot. but the last month was a busy one, full of organizing and packing and shopping for our next home. (and soccer every single saturday!) i did not do any of those things i wanted to do and before we knew it, it was moving day!
our small group and family helped us move the majority of our belongings a couple of mondays ago, and then brian and i spent the next few nights gathering the last little things. we even remembered the baby clothes in the attic. it was strange to walk through your front door those last few evenings, knowing i was now calling another house "home". my last hour with you, dear first house, was just like my first. alone. quiet. cleaning the kitchen. when i finished, i jotted a little note to our buyer...
then i went back and forth from room to room, almost lost in the emptiness, saying goodbye. i surprised myself by not crying then (though i am now, as i write this). you were still a house, our house for a few more days. but without our familiar things, without a trace of my husband and my children... you were no longer our home. your walls themselves are not precious. they are just walls. it is the hands that touched them and the feet that dirtied them that are so very precious to me. so saying good-bye to you tugged tightly on my heartstrings, but it was not nearly as hard as i thought it would be.
it has been 3 days since we handed our keys to a young girl, a year out of college. i know she will take good care of you. she will give you some new paint, more wood floors, and you may even get your grass back before too long. i know one thing is for sure: she won't be hurling wooden cupcakes at your walls! you were a wonderful first house for us, and i'm excited that you are her first house, too.
don't worry, little house. we won't be strangers. we drive past your road several times a week, and we'll swing by often just to see you and say hi. you may not see us since we'll just be one of hundreds of cars racing down that street, so i'll be sure to honk. you were good to us, little first house. enjoy the peace and quiet. you've earned it.
love, emily
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